Tuesday, July 15, 2008

When TiTy Talks About Losing Her Peace

Yesterday I received a bad news regarding my mum's condition.

She went for her regular check up and her blood test result is not so good. There is an increase in her cancer cells and it is higher than before. The last time it was about 400+ and now it has increased to 700+. She was crying when she show her blood test result yesterday & last night my sister said she's resting but still emotionally unstable. I called her this morning & she was still crying & can't talk much.

The doctor suspected another cancerous cysts growth, and my mum will undergo CTscan on the 22nd for further investigation. Doctor told us to prepare ourselves. I had a long talk with my dad yesterday. He wanted me to be ready for the worst *arghhhhh!*. As for my mum, she's still emotionally unstable and should there be another cancerous cyst growth, she doesn't want to undergo chemo anymore.

I felt like I wanted to scream. This news really bothers me. I'm seriously not in the mood for anything rite now. Not even to be around people. All I wanted to do is stay at home be alone. I stopped texting meg bcos i cant take advices now (she'll be annoyed with my words), told felix I wont be attending the CG leaders tonight cos i dont feel like being around ppl, i said no to nova invitation for coffee bcos i dont feel like talking. The only thing felt like doing is to spill it out in my blog so people will have the choice whether to read it or to ignore. Thanks to my cousin otherwise I wont be here in the internet cafe typing away this entry.

Its may sound unhealthy but I don't care I would rather keep it to myself than to let others get my moody-plus-gloomy-effects.

I'm soooooo not in da mood to go to my next interviews and also I was thinking of canceling my check up in Singapore. Gosh! what is happening to me!?

At the moment, I felt like having sum quiet time in the chapel. YES! i'll be gng to the chapel later tonite after sending my cousin to UITM.

Lord, im losing my peace & I need you grace (AMEN!)

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